2020/06/21

曾經惹毛費爸 Noah Rubin設平台分享網壇辛酸

曾經在澳網惹毛Roger Federer的美國小將Noah Rubin,曾經因為遇上瓶頸而迷失自己。然而,他卻也因此決定建立社群平台,讓世界網壇的每位成員可以藉由文字,將「球拍之後的告白」公諸於世。Rubin也從小時了了的網球浪人,成為了網壇舉足輕重的吹哨者。

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這一連串的勝利,也讓Rubin在網壇扶搖直上。但在2019年一月那個夜晚,這位年輕人坐在自己兒時的房間裡,思考著這一切:他的地位、他的目的、他所追求的快樂到底是什麼?為什麼他熱愛的網球,如今卻讓他過得水深火熱?他開始藉由分享大家的血淚,發覺自己尋求的答案。

「我活到現在,我一直都是最年輕的那位,這卻帶來了我不想要的吹捧。(在2018年溫布頓落敗後)我迷失了自己,我感到困惑然後開始想太多,我不斷思考:這是我想要做的還是別人做過的事?這過程中有許多的靜坐、沉思還有哭泣。」—Coco Gauff

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

“Throughout my life, I was always the youngest to do things, which added hype that I didn’t want. It added this pressure that I needed to do well fast. Once I let that all go, I started to have the results I wanted. Right before Wimbledon, going back to around 2017/18, I was struggling to figure out if this was really what I wanted. I always had the results so that wasn’t the issue, I just found myself not enjoying what I loved. I realized I needed to start playing for myself and not other people. For about a year I was really depressed. That was the toughest year for me so far. Even though I had, it felt like there weren’t many friends there for me. When you are in that dark mindset you don’t look on the bright side of things too often, which is the hardest part. I don’t think it had much to do with tennis, maybe just about juggling it all. I knew that I wanted to play tennis but didn’t know how I wanted to go about it. It went so far that I was thinking about possibly taking a year off to just focus on life. Choosing not to obviously was the right choice but I was close to not going in that direction. I was just lost. I was confused and overthinking if this was what I wanted or what others did. It took many moments sitting, thinking and crying. I came out of it stronger and knowing myself better than ever. Everyone asks me how I stay calm on court and I think it’s because I accepted who I am after overcoming low points in my life. Now, when I’m on court, I am just really thankful to be out there. Personally for me, I like playing for more than myself. One of the biggest things is to continue breaking barriers. At the same time I don’t like being compared to Serena or Venus. First, I am not at their level yet. I always feel like it’s not fair to the Williams sisters to be compared to someone who is just coming up. It just doesn’t feel right yet, I still look at them as my idols. With all their accolades I shouldn’t be put in the same group yet. Of course I hope to get to where they are but they are the two women that set the pathway for myself, which is why I can never be them.” @cocogauff Go to behindtheracquet.com for extended stories, podcast and merch

A post shared by Behind The Racquet (@behindtheracquet) on Apr 14, 2020 at 10:04am PDT

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